


In The Balance

by scgirl_317



Category: CSI: Miami, Miami Medical
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scgirl_317/pseuds/scgirl_317
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had had rough days, but never one that so completely went to hell in a hand basket. An attack at a crime scene leaves Ryan clinging to life by a thread. The CSI team clings together while the Miami General Trauma team races to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There had been bad days before. She had had more than her share of bad days. Days she wanted to scream, days she wanted to cry, days that just plain sucked. But never, never had there been a day that so completely went to hell in a hand basket. How could it all go so wrong so fast? She would have been able to rationalize it all out had her brain been functioning, but after that first shot, the only thought she was capable of having was that he’d been hit.

_~Three hours ago~_

Natalia gasped at the sight before her. As a CSI, she’d seen the worst humanity offered, but this was one of the worst scenes she’d seen. Three bodies were strewn across the living room, each looking like a shrapnel grenade had exploded in their laps. The chest and abdominal area on each body was covered in no less than a dozen entry wounds.

Taking a breath, she pulled out a pair of gloves and began processing the scene. On closer examination, the wounds appeared to be from a shotgun blast at mid-range. She worked with Ryan, photographing the scene and taking prints from the victims before moving on to the rest of the house.

Before long, they heard Eric and Tom in the other room with the victims. They went out to meet them to see what Eric had found outside the house. They compared notes until a quiet click was heard from the hallway behind them.

“What was that?” Ryan asked, looking around.

“I thought the cops cleared the building already?” Natalia asked Eric.

“They said they did,” Eric confirmed.

Ryan pulled his gun, slowly moving towards the doorway, “Who’s there?”

That was when time stopped.

They saw the muzzle flash, heard the explosion. Ryan felt the force of a battering ram hit him in the stomach. Eric fired off several rounds to the shooter. Tom called for paramedics. Natalia knelt next to Ryan. His stomach was peppered with blood where the buck shot entered his body.

“Stay with us, Wolfe,” Eric urged, removing his outer shirt to use to staunch the bleeding. “H is gonna kill you if you die on us.”

“Gee, glad to know you care,” Ryan managed, miraculously still conscious but swiftly paling.

It seemed an eternity before the EMTs arrived. As they hurried to stabilize Ryan enough for transport, Eric glanced over at Natalia. She had only moved when the paramedics physically pushed her to the side. He knew the signs of shock when he saw them. As much as he worried about Ryan, he knew that the stakes of this case had just skyrocketed and he wouldn’t risk missing anything.

“Natalia, go with him,” he said as Ryan was loaded into the ambulance.

For a moment she looked ready to argue, but she nodded and climbed in after the paramedics.

First, Eric would call Horatio. Then they would finish this case and get back to their boy.

* * *

“You seriously don’t find him attractive?” Serena asked, sure of the answer, but unsure of its sincerity.

“He’s just not my type,” Eva shrugged, wishing the younger doctor would drop it.

Ever since Procter had given her a ride home that one night, Warren had been constantly bugging her about the former GI surgeon. Sure, she found Procter attractive, but she wasn’t interested. Besides, he was her boss and she had no intention of giving anyone the impression that she was sleeping her way to the top.

“I’ll pretend I believe that,” Serena muttered, following Eva to the nurses’ station to check the patient list. “I need to go check on my chainsaw,” she said in parting, referring to a patient that had come in the previous evening who had been cutting a tree out of his yard and had the chainsaw slip, almost completely severing the lower leg. Thankfully, the damage had not been so great that would necessitate amputation.

“You’d better get over there,” Chris chuckled, walking up. “I heard him flirting with Nurse McKay on the way over here.”

“Not again,” Warren moaned.

“The morphine must have him feeling pretty good,” Eva laughed. “That’s the third time he’s hit on the nurses.”

“I know, I need to go rescue her.”

Chris and Eva shared a laugh at Serena’s exasperation with her patient. Their humor was short-lived, however, as their pagers went off.

“Incoming,” Chris read. “Let’s get moving.”

Minutes later, Eva and Chris met the ambulance outside.

“Ryan Wolfe, thirty-three years old, shotgun blast to the abdomen,” the paramedic rattled off. “BP’s ninety over sixty, pulse is seventy-five. Flat-lined once on the way in.”

“Okay, let’s get him into Trauma 2,” Eva ordered.

Neither doctor took much notice of Natalia climbing out of the ambulance. She followed slowly into the hospital, still reeling at seeing the paramedics shock Ryan back to life.

Procter walked into the Trauma center in time to see Natalia lose her step. He swiftly caught her before she fell to her face. He held her up, but paused when he felt something warm and sticky under his hand. Acting swiftly, he waved down Tuck, and the two men lead her to Trauma 3. Procter removed her black blazer to reveal several entry wounds in her arm.

“She’s been shot,” he noted. “Ma’am?”

“Natalia,” she managed to correct, “Natalia Boa Vista.”

“Miss Boa Vista, I’m Doctor Procter. How long ago were you shot?”

“What?” Natalia asked, looking down at her arm as her brain started functioning again. She hadn’t realized she’d been hit when Ryan had been shot. “I guess about twenty minutes ago. I haven’t really been thinking about much since Ryan was shot. I was standing right next to him; I guess that’s how I was hit.”

“Well, it doesn’t look that serious,” Procter surmised, seeing that the buck shot was embedded fairly shallow. “We’ll have you patched up in no time.”

“Wait, what about Ryan?” Natalia asked, slightly panicked. “Will he be okay?”

“Doctors Deleo and Zambrano are working on him now,” Tuck reassured her as Procter began removing the pellets from her arm. “He’s in the best hands he could be in. But I’ll make sure someone notifies you when we know anything,” he added, seeing her pensive look.

“Thanks. Ow,” she flinched away as Procter inserted the forceps after another piece of shot.

“Sorry, that’s the last piece,” Procter apologized as the last lead pellet clinked into a pan. “You’re lucky. Once I get you stitched up, there should hardly be a scar. However, I see that it won’t be your first,” he added, giving her a knowing look.

“Suffice it to say I got a divorce for a reason,” she said after a pause.

He realized that was all she would say on the matter, so he nodded. “I’ll give you some Demerol for the pain, and Nurse Brody here will finish patching you up. In the meantime, I’ll go check on your friend.”

“Thank you, Doctor Proctor.”

Procter made it to Trauma 2 in time to see Chris shock Ryan out of v-fib.

“Okay, we need to move it. Get him up to the OR,” ordered Eva. “Page me when he’s ready.”

“How’s it going?” Procter asked as Eva and Chris walked out.

“It’s still touch and go,” Chris said grimly. “We stabilized him enough to operate, but there’s no telling how much damage was done until we get in there. Honestly, it doesn’t look good.”

“His friend was hit by some of the buck shot which I easily took care of, but her emotional status seems far more precarious,” Procter told them. “I’m not sure what it would do to her if he were to die.”

“Where is she?” Eva asked.

“Tuck’s finishing up with her in Trauma 3,” he answered.

“I’ll go talk to her,” she offered, turning towards the other room.

Tuck was just finishing bandaging Natalia’s arm when Eva walked in.

“Hi, I’m Doctor Eva Zambrano.”

“Natalia Boa Vista. How’s Ryan?”

“I’m not going to lie to you, it doesn’t look good,” Eva started slowly. “His internal injuries are severe. We stabilized him enough to operate; we’ll know more when we get in the OR.”

Eva wished she could offer better news as she watched Natalia crumble. Whatever strength that had been holding her together failed, and she succumbed to the tears that had been threatening to fall. Eva took pity on her and laid a comforting hand on Natalia’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s not over. The fact that he’s even still alive is a miracle. That Ryan’s made it this far is a good sign. Don’t count him out yet.”

Natalia nodded, wiping away her tears. “Ryan’s not the type to give up easy. He’s been through hell, but he keeps coming back.”

Eva’s pager going off interrupted any further conversation, “That’s him. I need to get up to the OR. Tuck will take you to the waiting room.”

“Thank you, Doctor Zambrano.”

Eva left the room, and Tuck gently led Natalia upstairs.

“Is there anyone you need to get in touch with?” he asked. “Family? Friends?”

“The only family I know of is a sister in Boston,” she replied. “The rest of the lab will be working on solving the case. Eric was there. He’ll have told them what happened.”

“Well, if you need anything, just let the nurse at the desk know.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

Tuck gave her a reassuring smile and returned to the trauma unit. Natalia was left alone to replay the events of the past hour over and over in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

Natalia had no idea how long she had sat there in the waiting room when she heard several sets of footsteps running up the hall. She looked up to see Calleigh and Eric heading her way.

“Natalia, are you okay?” Calleigh asked, worried when she saw the bandage on Natalia’s arm.

“Yeah, I got hit by a couple stray pieces of buck shot,” Natalia explained. “It’s nothing serious.”

“Any word on Ryan?” Eric asked.

“Not since they took him into surgery,” she answered. “It was serious, that was all they could tell me. Or would tell me. But they said the fact that he’s still alive good sign.”

Calleigh and Eric sat next to Natalia, silently waiting for word on Ryan. After what seemed like ages, Deleo came out to see them.

“How is he?” Natalia asked, standing up to greet the doctor.

“Ryan is one tough bastard,” Chris replied with a weak smile. “By all rights, he should be dead. But he pulled through the surgery. We managed to remove the buck shot and repair the internal damage, which consisted of a punctured lung and lacerated intestines, liver, and stomach. We had to remove his spleen, and he’s on a ventilator. We’ll be able to determine the extent of any possible nerve damage once he wakes up. He’s being taken up to the ICU, shortly.”

“When can we see him?” Eric asked.

“Once he’s in the ICU, he’ll be allowed one visitor at a time. Give us about thirty minutes to get him settled, then you can see him.”

Chris left them in the waiting area and Natalia finally relaxed, allowing the tears that had been restricted all day to fall. Calleigh wrapped her arms around the other woman, recognizing that the stress was finally getting to her.

“Honey, let me take you home,” she suggested. “That way you can clean up before you see him. You don’t want him to see you with blood on you.”

“No, I don’t want to leave him,” Natalia resisted, meek though it was.

“I’ll stay here with him, Natalia,” Eric offered, knowing the only way she would leave was if their team mate was not alone.

Realizing she had no more argument, Natalia nodded. Calleigh wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her out to the Hummer.

Eric watched them leave, then headed upstairs to the ICU waiting room. He could see the nurses connecting the various monitors and wires. His mind drifted back to the house. As soon as the paramedics left, Eric had called Horatio. The speed with which the lieutenant had arrived at the scene was blinding, considering he had been at another scene with Calleigh across town.

With two more pairs of hands, processing the scene took far less time, and they swiftly developed a reasonable idea of what happened. The woman who had shot Ryan had been on multiple anti-psychotics and antidepressants, but had apparently gone off her meds recently. The diary she had been keeping spoke of overwhelming paranoia that her family was in danger. In truth, anything could have set her off, but it was safe to say that she had killed her family believing she was protecting them. Unfortunately, Eric’s first shot had been the kill shot, and they could not ask her. There would be some further investigating, but everything they found indicated the case was open and shut. Once everything had been collected, Horatio sent Eric and Calleigh to the hospital, where he would meet them once the evidence had been logged.

Eric was now fighting off memories of driving Ryan to the ER with a nail sticking out of his eye. He couldn’t help but wonder why it seemed that everything bad happened to Ryan. He’d been shot with a nail gun, kidnapped and beaten by Russians, forced to misdirect a case for the same Russians who had a boy hostage, had a reporter ex-girlfriend compromise a case, and had been fired. If the universe had a whipping boy, Ryan was it.

He was broken out of his reverie when a nurse came up to him to tell him he could go sit with Ryan. Gratefully, he nodded, going into the small room. He couldn’t help but wince at the sight before him. Ryan looked so small underneath the tangled mess of wires, tubes and monitors hooked up to him. The hissing ventilator didn’t make matters any better.

Eric grabbed the single chair and pulled it closer to the bed, taking care not to disturb any of the machinery. It was odd to see Ryan this still. In the lab, he was usually in constant motion, making sure that nothing had been overlooked; his OCD was why Horatio had hired him in the first place.

“You gotta wake up, Wolfe,” Eric said quietly. “We need you. I wish you could see Natalia. I don’t think she was this messed up when Nick was killed, and she took that hard. If nothin’ else, you gotta come back for her.”

He fell silent, keeping watch over his friend until Calleigh and Natalia came back, when he yielded his position to the latter.

* * *

“I heard you guys got someone who’d been shot with a shotgun?” Serena asked, bringing her lunch over to the table in the doctors’ lounge where Chris and Eva sat. “How’d he survive that?”

“There’s no way he should have,” Eva argued. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for every person that leaves here of their own volition, but the buck shot hit almost every major organ in the body. He should have been DOA.”

“Okay, Miss Glass Half-Empty, how about we just work to make sure he _does_ leave here of his own volition,” Chris interrupted.

“Eighty seconds,” Serena mused with a small smile. “He must have something to live for that’s important enough to keep him here.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Procter,” Eva told her.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Matt replied, walking in right then.

“How do you do that?” Chris asked, fascinated by the older doctor’s ability to turn up whenever someone was talking about him.

Matt simply shrugged, going for a cup of tea, “Young Doctor Warren isn’t necessarily wrong. A person’s will can be a powerful thing.”

Serena gave Eva a vindicated smile and took a bite of her sandwich.

“Let’s just hope his will is strong enough to pull him through this,” he added, grabbing an extra packet of chamomile and walking back out.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to figure him out,” Eva muttered, shaking her head.

Procter took the tea up to the ICU, where he found Natalia staring intently at Ryan’s face, as if watching him would cause him to wake up.

“Here, thought you could use something to calm your nerves,” he said, offering her the styrofoam cup.

“Thanks,” she said, taking the cup from him and watching as he turned to look at Ryan’s chart. “How is he, really?”

Procter looked back at her, judging what response to give, “Better than most, under the circumstances. However, since most shotgun wounds don’t survive long enough for the paramedics to arrive, that’s not saying much. He’s still critical, but at least he’s stable.”

Natalia nodded, not comforted but glad to know where the situation stood.

“It’s just so hard to see him like this,” she said, looking down at her cup. “Ryan’s always the strong one, the one we can depend on. He’s hardly ever still, and even when his body’s not moving, his mind is. He’s amazing.”

Matt watched Natalia as she spoke, and he could tell there was more to her words than simple friendly affection. Whether she realized that or not was another matter, but it explained a lot about her current frame of mind. He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and left, knowing nothing he could say would make the situation any better.

He walked down to the waiting area to see if anyone else was here for the young man, but the sight that met him was not what he expected. Gathered closely together in a corner of the room were three men and a woman, all wearing badges. Matt recalled that Ryan was a CSI, so he made his way toward them.

“I take it you all are here for Ryan Wolfe?” he clarified.

“Yes, we are,” said Horatio, turning to greet him. “Doctor, how is he?”

“He’s alive and stable, which is better than would be expected, honestly. It’s going to be a long haul for him to fully recover, but he seems to be a tough young man.”

“Tough as a house cat,” Tripp muttered.

“Frank,” Horatio admonished.

“They say still waters run deep,” Procter replied, unfazed. “The fact that he’s even still alive is testament to his strength and will. It would probably be a good idea if you could pry Natalia away every now and then so she could at least eat something. She’s no good to anyone if she starves herself.”

“We’ll take care of her,” Eric assured. “Thank you.”

Matt nodded and left them, sending up a prayer to whatever power existed that the young man made it through the night. Ryan certainly had friends that would give him whatever help he needed. Yes, he would be just fine once he got out of there.

* * *

It was after sunup, almost twenty-four hours since the shooting, when movement from the bed roused Natalia from the half-slumber she’d been drifting in and out of.

“Ryan?” she asked, sitting up and watching for further signs of awakening from her friend.

Slowly, his eyes opened and looked around the room. Apparently not remembering what had happened, his eyes widened in panic as he struggled against the ventilator.

“Ryan, Ryan, calm down,” Natalia told him, leaning over him so he would see her. “Calm down or you’ll hurt yourself.”

The cardio monitor alerted the nurses that something was amiss, and they paged Chris to get up there. By the time he arrived, Natalia had gotten Ryan to stop fighting the ventilator, but he was still on edge.

“Welcome back, Ryan,” Chris greeted him with a smile, taking a quick look at his chart from the overnight. “Can you move your fingers and toes for me?”

Ryan responded by curling each hand into fists and they could see his feet moving under the hospital blanket.

“Very good. There doesn’t seem to be any nerve damage. Well, your stats look good, so we’re going to see about taking that ventilator out, okay?”

Natalia watched as Chris and the nurse disconnected the tube from the pump. When instructed, Ryan breathed out and they pulled the tube from his throat. At that point, the nurse slipped the oxygen breather in place under his nose.

“Your throat’s going to be sore for a while, so don’t force it by trying to talk,” Chris instructed. “Your body has taken a heck of a beating, so give it time to heal. Blink once for ‘yes’ and twice for ‘no’. Do you know who you are?”

One blink. _Yes_.

“Do you remember what happened?”

One blink. _Yes_. Another hesitant blink. _No_.

“Some of it, maybe?”

One blink. _Yes_.

“That’s common. Trauma victims often experience episodic amnesia for events surrounding the trauma. In time, the memory may resurface. Personally, that’s something I wouldn’t want to remember, but that’s just me,” Chris joked, and was rewarded with a small smile from Ryan. Chris looked to Natalia, “Might wanna go tell your friends that he’s awake.”

Ryan tilted his head, giving Chris a confused look.

“Oh, you didn’t know? You’ve had a whole cheering squad camped out in the waiting room all night. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

“All night?” Ryan whispered hoarsely once Chris had left.

“You didn’t think we would leave you all by yourself, did you?” Natalia shrugged it off.

Ryan looked at her, knowing there was more than what she was telling him, but he decided to leave it for later. The strain his body had taken over the past day was wearing him out. He drifted back to sleep, allowing his body to spend more energy in repairing itself.

Natalia watched him sleep for a bit, a weight lifted with the knowledge that Ryan would be all right. Once she was satisfied that he would not wake up easily, she slipped out of the room and back out to the waiting area. The sight that met her almost made her laugh.

Eric and Calleigh were curled up together on the undersized couch, Frank had pulled another chair up to prop his feet up from the chair he was sitting, and Horatio was uncharacteristically slumped down in an armchair. She cleared her throat, and at once they all jumped up.

“How is he?” Horatio asked.

“He’s sleeping now, but he’s doing good,” Natalia replied. “They took the ventilator out, and there doesn’t appear to be any nerve damage.”

“Hey, Natalia, why don’t you go get some rest,” Eric suggested. “I’ll sit with him for a while.”

Natalia started to argue, but she suddenly realized how exhausted she was. She nodded, and Calleigh offered to take her back home. Once the women were gone, Horatio looked to Eric.

“I’ll be back to sit with him around noon.”

“Got it, H,” Eric said, before turning to enter the ICU.

Horatio was going to make sure that their young friend was never alone through this.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan awoke to see Eric sitting where Natalia had been.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Eric grinned when he saw his friend waking up.

“Water,” he requested.

Eric poured him a glass and held it up to Ryan’s lips to drink. Ryan nodded his thanks and licked his parched lips.

“What time is it?” he asked, his voice slightly stronger.

“About eleven thirty,” Eric replied. “I was beginning to think you were never going to wake up.”

“Natalia leave?”

“About four hours ago. H made everyone go home and get some rest. You had us really worried, there.”

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Ryan replied with a small smile.

“Hey, I’m just glad I don’t have to break in a new rookie,” Eric joked, but Ryan could see the affection in his eyes.

“So did you close the case?” Ryan asked.

“Jeeze, Wolfe, your guts look like swiss cheese! Can you lay off the overachiever bit?”

Ryan started to laugh, but quickly succumbed to a fit of coughing.

“Okay, mental note, don’t laugh,” Ryan groaned in pain as he laid a hand on his chest.

“Well, that shouldn’t be hard for you,” Eric snorted.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to mock the injured.”

“No, that’s the dead, and you aren’t there yet.”

Horatio heard the verbal parries as he walked up to the room. Chris was coming to check on Ryan at the same time.

“Doctor, sounds like he’s feeling better,” Horatio commented.

“That it does,” Chris chuckled. “Good morning, Mister Wolfe.”

“Morning, Doc,” Ryan greeted.

“Vitals are still looking good,” Deleo stated after checking the monitors and the chart. “I just wanna take a look at your stitches then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Eric stepped out to give the doctor more room to work, joining Horatio by the door.

“I take it he’s feeling better, Eric?”

“Apparently,” Delko grinned. “He just woke up a few minutes ago, but he’s not as out of it as he was before.”

“That’s good,” Horatio said with a small smile. “Go get some rest Eric.”

“What about the lab?”

“I already took care of that. Night shift is taking up the slack for now. We have a few days off to make sure our boy’s going to be okay.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Eric nodded. “I’ll see ya later, H.”

“See you, Eric.”

As Eric walked off, Horatio’s attention was drawn back to the room where Ryan was falling victim to another coughing fit as Chris finished checking the wounds.

“Everything all right, Doctor?” Horatio asked.

“So far,” Chris stated. “Believe it or not, coughing’s actually a good thing, as long as you don’t tear any of your stitches in the process. The coughing helps keep you from developing pneumonia.”

“And I certainly don’t want that,” Ryan replied hoarsely.

“Well, it looks like it’s the changing of the guard, so I’ll let you get some rest,” Chris said with a glance back at Horatio.

Horatio stepped up to take Eric’s vacated seat as Chris left. Ryan looked at him through tired eyes.

“You don’t have to stay, Horatio. I know you must have other stuff you need to do.”

“No I don’t, Ryan,” Horatio corrected, “nothing that can’t wait. I’ve made sure you won’t be alone here.”

Ryan started to ask why, but the question died on his lips. He could not honestly say he wasn’t glad for it; he had never been overly fond of hospitals. So instead, he simply nodded his thanks. He noticed a book in Horatio’s hands.

“What’s that?”

“I went to you house and looked for something that would interest you,” Horatio explained. “This one was more worn than the other books, so I guessed you had read it more. I never would have thought you a Clive Cussler fan.”

Ryan shrugged, “I read _Raise the Titanic_ when I was a kid, and have been reading them ever since.”

“Anyway, I thought I could read it to you, if you want.”

“That’d be nice.”

Ryan tried to stay awake as Horatio’s mellow voice read through the first few pages of _Sahara_ , but sleep over took him once again. His dreams followed the movie adaptation, where he took Matthew McConaughey’s role, Eric was Steve Zahn, and Natalia was Penelope Cruz. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he hoped he slept long enough to reach that scene in Monterey, right before the credits.

* * *

Ryan slept off and on throughout the day, watching his friends come and go. Several times he went to sleep with one person there, and another was there when he awoke. Chris came by several times, checking his vitals and looking at the stitches to make sure Ryan hadn’t pulled any apart during his coughing.

It was toward the end of the day when Natalia came back. Ryan could tell she was relieved that he seemed to be doing better, but lines of worry had set in her face. Thinking that it would be good to distract her, he asked if she would read where Calleigh had left off.

Natalia did as he requested, but as she read, her mind was not on the book. She could not keep her mind from thinking about what might have happened. Her voice faltered when she thought of Ryan dying. Ryan noticed and called her attention to him.

“Hey, Natalia, what’s wrong?”

“I was so scared,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared for anyone. You flat-lined once in the ambulance, and I almost lost it. I keep seeing everything over and over in my head like a movie reel, and I can’t stop it.”

Ryan reached out to grasp her hand, hoping to calm her shot nerves, “Talia, I’m right here, and I’m gonna be fine.”

That seemed to settle her some, but her eyes still shone with unshed tears. Impulsively, he pulled her hand up and kissed the back of her hand. She looked up at him and saw that boyish grin that she knew so well on his face.

“I’m sorry you were so scared,” he said softly. “I promise I’ll try to never get shot again.”

Natalia couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped, “And I’ll try to not spend a lot of time on what-ifs.”

“I have to admit, there is one what-if I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about,” he mused.

“And what’s that?”

Ryan pondered his options, finally settling on pulling her close enough so he could wrap his hand around behind her neck, and slowly guided her in to touch her lips with his. Natalia felt electricity run up her spine at the touch. This was a what-if she had considered also. The idea that she was not the only one made her feel giddy. Presently, he pulled back, yet still close enough to keep his hand on her neck.

“Well, I guess that answers that question,” she said. “I must confess, I’ve thought about that as well.”

“Oh really? And have you come to a conclusion?”

“Yeah, you better heal fast.”

She said it with such a straight face Ryan could not help but burst out laughing, momentarily forgetting the discomfort such action now caused him. As before, the laughter degraded to spasmodic coughing, but thankfully it did not last quite as long.

“Yeah, I’m getting really tired of that,” Ryan moaned.

“Well, Doctor Deleo did say coughing was good for you,” she offered, trying to find some semblance of a silver lining on a black cloud as she handed him some water. “Try to get some rest. I can read some more, if you want.”

Ryan nodded, leaning his head back on the pillow. “Talia?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you still be here when I wake up?” he asked tentatively.

“Yeah, I will,” she replied, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. Horatio had told her Frank would come in some time after midnight, but she would make sure she was still there next time Ryan awoke.

Ryan smiled, and drifted off once again to the lines of _Sahara_. After hearing Natalia read it, he thought it might become his favorite book ever.

* * *

The next few days were very dull for Ryan, who was used to some form of constant mental stimulation. The only reprieve was the fact that, just as Horatio had said, he was never alone. Eric came in the early morning, Horatio around lunch, Calleigh in the evening, Natalia at night. Frank had been called in to help with a triple homicide the third day, so his visits were briefer, but it still touched Ryan that he even showed up at all. Frank Tripp could be called many things, but sentimental was not one of them.

In the meantime, Chris and Eva stood back and watched their patient’s recovery. Eva was still in disbelief that Ryan was even alive, but she had decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. So what if he should be dead? So should a lot of people. Ryan was apparently one of the lucky ones that cheated death. Serena maintained that it was love that kept him going; she had passed by one night and seen him with Natalia. Even a blind man could see that the two were in love, or close to it.

Chris simply laughed. Nothing about Ryan’s case was normal. Shotgun victims don’t survive, there’s simply too much damage inflicted on the body. Though he had flat-lined twice, he still lived. There should have been some nerve damage from the dozen or so pellets that pierced his body, yet none so far had been detected. Most people with comparable injuries would be in the ICU close to a week. Chris was having Ryan moved to a private room after three days; there was no reason for him to stay there. So far there was no infection, the wounds were healing nicely, and he was regaining energy to the point of driving him stir crazy. At least in a private room, he wouldn’t have to stay in bed all the time.

Chris came in to see that Horatio was on duty for the move. The rotating shifts that the CSIs had set up to accompany Ryan was another thing that fascinated Chris. He was sure it was for their sake as much as his, though their main duty at this point was to keep him from climbing the walls.

“Ready to get out of here?” Chris asked when he walked in.

“Yes, please!” Ryan exclaimed, and Horatio smiled at the younger man.

“Well, good news is you will have your own room,” Chris began. “Bad news is that unless I see sufficient evidence otherwise, you have to put up with me for another week.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Horatio said, staving off any complaints Ryan might have.

Ryan nodded, knowing his boss had a point. Things could be far worse, like he could be dead. When he looked at it that way, he supposed he should be thankful for at least that much. It wasn’t the doctor’s fault he was bored out of his mind.

“All right, I’m gonna get a nurse to help me with the monitors, and then we’ll take you downstairs.”

Horatio stood back and watched as the many monitors were disconnected from Ryan’s body. It was a comforting sight; it meant that his young friend was that much closer to restoration. He followed them down several floors to Ryan’s new room. The cardio monitor was replaced, as was the oxygen, but it was a far cry from the myriad of wires that had previously been in place.

“There you go,” said Chris, once everything was in place, “some semblance of privacy.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Ryan said.

“No problem, just don’t get into too much trouble with all this newfound freedom.”

“We’ll make sure he behaves, Doctor,” Horatio assured.

“I’m sure you will.”

Ryan sent a silent glare of reproach after the doctor, put off by the assumption that he would find mischief. No, simply that trouble had a way of finding him.

Horatio noticed that an extra bed had been placed on the far side of the room. The gesture was nice, that the comfort of his people had been taken into consideration. Deleo had undoubtedly told the nurses on this floor to expect a round-the-clock watch on his patient.

They had not been there ten minutes when there was a knock at the door. Horatio called out, and the door opened to reveal Tuck. Ryan smiled; the other constant in the ICU, besides his friends, had been the male nurse. Tuck had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on Ryan, and his naturally comforting demeanor was appreciated by the CSIs.

“Hey, Doctor C. told me you were getting your own room,” he said as he walked up to the bed. “Bet you’re glad to be out of the ICU?”

“That would be an understatement,” Horatio said before Ryan could speak.

“I was going stir crazy up there,” Ryan stated. “At least now I have a little more freedom.”

“Don’t push it too far,” Tuck cautioned. “If you’re too gung-ho, you can end up spending more time in here.”

“Duly noted.”

“Well, I gotta get going. I’ll make sure the nurses on this floor take good care of you.”

“Well, we’ll miss you,” Horatio offered.

“You get that a lot, don’t you?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, a good bit,” Tuck smiled. “I’ll see ya around.”

“See ya, Tuck.”

Ryan leaned back and took in his surroundings. The room was pretty bleak, but it was private and it lacked the five million monitors he had been surrounded by in the ICU. It was a small measure of freedom, but it was a significant stepping stone to being released. One hurdle down, who knows how many left to go.


	4. Chapter 4

Natalia was thrilled to learn Ryan had been moved. It meant he was that much closer to being released. He had slept little during her shifts, the two passing the time by talking. Their relationship had evolved since their kiss the first night in the ICU. They traded stories, telling of families and life before Miami-Dade PD.

“Hey, I like your new digs,” she said as she walked in.

“I know, I asked him what he was going to do with all this space,” Calleigh grinned.

“Don’t go pulling out the color swatches yet, I’m not gonna be here that long,” Ryan pointed out.

“Okay, well, my relief’s here so I’ll see you later Ryan,” Calleigh said, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

“See ya, Calleigh,” he said.

Once Calleigh had left, Natalia walked over to the bed and gave Ryan a sound kiss.

“Now that’s what I call a hello,” Ryan said, licking his lips once she pulled away.

“That was the idea,” she smiled, taking a seat next to him on the bed.

Gently, she leaned back against him and laid her head against his shoulder. It somewhat amazed her how comfortable she was around Ryan. Of course, they had been friends for four years, but that could not account for all of it. She had never felt like this around anyone, not even Nick in the good days.

“So, we only have a couple more days off,” she said.

“Well, I didn’t think you could take off forever,” he pointed out.

“I know, but I hate the thought of you stuck in here alone, all day.”

“I’ll be fine, Talia. Just bring me a couple more books.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Call me ‘Talia’,” she said. “No one else ever calls me that.”

“I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged. “Just kinda flows, I guess. Why? You don’t like it?”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head, “no, I like it. Especially since you came up with it.”

Ryan gently eased his free arm over and wrapped it around Natalia, pressing a kiss to her temple. He was quite content to simply lay there with Natalia. It was something he admitted he had thought of many times since their solitary date three years ago.

The stress of the past few days had taken its toll on Natalia. Her previous visits had been spent in conversation, but now that she was assured that he would be fine, exhaustion overtook her. Ryan noticed that her breathing had evened out and looked down at her. She was fast asleep, head turned into his shoulder. He smiled softly, and allowed himself to drift off as well.

* * *

The next few months had Ryan surpassing everyone’s expectations. It was a little over a week after being released from the ICU that Chris deemed Ryan whole enough to leave the hospital. The passing of three more weeks had Ryan back on light duty in the lab. Another eight of physical therapy and Chris felt he could return to full activity—still taking it easy, of course.

“So, Doc, how’s it look?” Ryan asked when he came in for a check up.

“You have surpassed everyone’s expectations, even my own, I must say,” Deleo confessed with a smile, remembering that he had given Ryan bleak odds at best when the CSI was first brought in. “Everything still looks good, so far your wounds have healed well, and the PT wishes she had other patients as diligent as you. You’ve made great progress.”

“That’s good to know,” Ryan nodded. “Any idea when I can return to work full-time?”

“If I can be sure you’ll not over-do it, I think you start back up now.”

Ryan looked pleased to hear that. He was sure Horatio would be put on notice to keep him on a short leash for the time being, but it would be worth it to get back out in the field. There was another thought that occurred to him.

“So it’s okay to resume, ah, other activities?” he asked pointedly.

It took a moment before Chris grasped his full meaning, “Ah, I see. I take it things are going well with Natalia?”

“Yeah, yeah, things are going great,” Ryan said with a smile. “The lab’s been pretty busy, recently, but we’ve managed to go on a few dates.”

“You guys told the others, yet?” Chris asked, well aware of the secrecy they had been keeping.

“Haven’t had a chance. Besides, IA would make one of us either leave the lab or switch to the night shift. We haven’t really talked about that.”

“Well, if you want my unsolicited opinion, women like Natalia don’t come along often. I’d transfer in a heartbeat if I had a girlfriend like her.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Ryan, considering this.

“Just don’t do anything before you talk to her,” Chris cautioned. “And yes, you’ve got a green light as long as she consents, but I doubt she’ll argue.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Ryan said.

Another appointment was made for six more weeks, and Ryan made his way back to his car. He knew he and Natalia would have to talk about work eventually, but it was a conversation he dreaded. They couldn’t keep their relationship under wraps forever. He knew Eric had suspicions, and Alexx would kill him if things got too far without her being told.

He stopped by the grocery store to pick up things for dinner before going home. Natalia was coming by as soon as her shift ended, but he knew with their hours, that could be anywhere from five o’clock to nine. So, since dinners that could keep had become the norm, he picked up the ingredients for pasta and salads.

It was actually close to six when Natalia arrived. He opened the door for her and she was met by the smells of garlic, olive oil, and warm bread.

“Oh my gosh, if it tastes anything like it smells, it’s gonna be amazing,” she said, hanging her jacket by the door. “I am so glad one of us can cook.”

Ryan chuckled at that. Natalia had wanted to cook for him on their second date, but dinner had ended up in chaos involving an overflowing pan, oven fire, and foam from a fire extinguisher. Ryan then called and ordered a pizza. Needless to say, Natalia had not offered to cook since then.

“Well, tonight is a bit of a celebration,” Ryan said, pulling two wine glasses from the cabinet in the kitchen. “I got my flying papers from Doctor Deleo, today.”

“He’s okay-ed you for full duty?” Natalia asked, making sure she understood him correctly.

“As long as I take it easy, and I have a feeling Horatio’s gonna get a call from the doc, but I’m good to go.”

“Ryan, that’s great!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him. “I know you’ve been looking forward to getting out of the lab.”

Though she was not aware, her words held a double meaning, reminding Ryan of Deleo’s words earlier that day.

“Yeah, listen, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

His tone made Natalia take a step back, and her smile faltered. “This sounds serious.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Ryan poured the wine and handed a glass to Natalia. He took a deep breath before saying, “I wanna tell the others about us.”

“What? You realize one of us would have to leave the lab.”

“Or transfer to the night shift, yeah, I know,” he said. “But they have a right to know, Talia. Besides, it takes Herculean strength to keep up the façade that we’re just friends. I wanna be able to tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. If that means I have to transfer to the night shift, then so be it.”

“You… You’d transfer to the night shift?” Natalia asked hesitantly.

“I’d flat out quit if it meant I could kiss you in public,” he told her, placing a hand on her cheek.

“Don’t turn in your resignation just yet,” she protested lightly. “Let’s just see how it goes. Horatio may be able to keep you on the day shift.”

“I love you,” Ryan said gently, leaning in to give her a soft kiss.

It was the first time either had expressed the sentiment verbally, thought it hade been thought and felt for some time. It took Natalia a second to respond to the kiss, his words throwing her off for a moment. However, the shock was only momentary, and she the swiftly opened up to him.

 Ryan ran his hands through Natalia’s hair as the tropical aroma of her shampoo wafted up. He was unable to contain the moan that escaped as she ran her hands down his chest. He pulled back slightly, remembering dinner and the fact that he could follow through on the kiss.

“Listen, if we don’t eat now, I don’t think we will eat, and I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Ryan pointed out.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Natalia laughed softly. “I’m pretty hungry, too.”

Ryan smiled and moved to plate the food. Natalia followed him with her eyes as he moved through the kitchen. His back was to her, and she had a chance to study him. While he had never been overly muscular, she could see that he had regained the toned definition he had lost after he’d been shot. The fact that he was wearing a fitted t-shirt simply drew attention to that fact.

“Ryan?”

“Yeah?” he replied, turning to face her. His face held such an earnest look, eager to please, much like the look one might get from a puppy. At that moment, Natalia found herself able to say only one thing.

“I love you, too.”

  

_Fin_


End file.
